I Will Hold You Up
by corpuscalypso
Summary: James lost the love of his life. All he wants is to get that love back. Songfic of Marianas Trench's Beside You. Takes place a few years in the future.


**I just... I fucking have to. I am absolutely and irrevocably in love with not only Josh Ramsay, but with all of Marianas Trench. This song is **_**Beside You**_** by MT; it moves me in such a way—well... let's just say this song will be played at my future wedding XP This fic is partially based off the video of the song also, because it's just so powerful; it's what I imagine it to be, if that make sense.**

**-I do not own BTR or Marianas Trench... or Cameron Monaghan, who also is in this fic XP**

*****_**words**_ – song lyrics, _words_ – thoughts, words – dialogue/ regular text*

~~ I Will Hold You Up~~

_**When your tears are spent on your last pretense  
>And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense.<br>When it's in your spine like you've walked for miles  
>And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while.<strong>_

_God dammit James, what did you get yourself into now? _I was a second away from banging my head against the kitchen table. My fully charged phone lay dormant in front of my head and I waited the agonizing five minutes as promised. _Cam... please..._ I was about to break when the screen lit up.

*New TXT Message – Cameron M. 3 – 2:36 AM*

I let out the breath and opened the awaited message. _Please don't leave me Cam... _He and I have been dating for 2 years. We got into our first big fight yesterday night. I've been texting him... he hasn't answered until now.

*Meet me where I first saw you.* I saw the unwritten words as well: _that way you can prove to me you actually do love me._

I flew up from the table, but it turns out that that wasn't the brightest idea, for two reasons. One, I immediately came crashing to the ground. _Damn chair in my way._ And two, I really didn't know where I was going. But apparently my fall was loud enough to wake up Kendall.

"James?" He asked, rubbing his eyes. As quickly as I could, I stood back up.

"Yeah. Sorry... I fell... I was just—"

"He finally respond?" I just nodded, avoiding eye contact with my best friend.

_**If your heart wears thin I will hold you up  
>And I will hide you when it gets too much<br>I'll be right beside you  
>I'll be right beside you<strong>_

"Well. What did he say?" I just showed him the phone. I didn't feel like speaking. I saw his eyes move across the screen. "Well, where did he first see you?"

"The premiere of Avenged, that one movie he was in. Do you think he'd be at the theater? Well, duh, he'd be at the theater." I turned for the door, but Kendall stopped me.

"Just... think things through. Don't be stupid."

"Kendall... he's my lifeline. I need him." My golden haired band mate paused before letting go of my jacket. That's when I sprinted to the door._****_

_**When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath  
>Where the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless.<strong>_

_Cam... you have to be here..._ I checked my phone. It was 3:30 AM. The theater was obviously closed, so I sat on the curb in front. The street was deserted. There was no sign of my red-headed love; there was no sign of anyone.

_Just wait a little bit longer. _Another half hour passed before my tears made my face puff up and my vocal chords tighten. I walked back to the Palm Woods.

_**When you try to speak but you make no sound  
>And the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud. <strong>_

_Why would he trick me? I thought he was doing this because he still loved me... _It was close to six when I trudged back into the god forsaken 2J. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I wanted to find Cameron. I wanted to just find him, hug him close and never let go. I needed him back...

"James!" A voice rang through my ears, soft but clear. I just couldn't answer. "James! Did you find him?" I turned around to face the brunette preteen. One look at my flushed face and she gasped. James Diamond never cries and doesn't immediately lock himself into the bathroom to make himself presentable. "James, what happened?" She asked gently, sitting down next to me.

Such a simple question shouldn't make me break into a fresh bout of tears. _Stop doing this to me Cameron..._

"He wasn't there!" I burst.

_**If your heart wears thin I will hold you up  
>And I will hide you when it gets too much<br>I'll be right beside you  
>I'll be right beside you<strong>_

*New TXT Message – Cameron M. 3 – 6:09 AM* I shuttered.

*C'mon Jaime. Find Me.* I sniffed. _I'm trying Cam! You weren't there! You weren't..._

"James, I think he's looking for a deeper feeling from you. Can you please tell me what your fight was about now?" I could feel the tears spill from my eyes. I regret instantly what I did to my Cameron.

I answered Katie as best as I could. "I bolted when asked for commitment. And I really do want to be with him—"

"You idiot!"

"Katie, you aren't helping!" Kendall yelled, coming from the room he shares with me.

"Kendall, he's playing with me! He thinks I was just messing around with him so he's going to put me through a wild goose chase for noting most likely. He wasn't there..."

"James...he said to meet him where he first saw you—"

"So maybe, instead of doing the obvious, search metaphorical." Logan suggesting, coming out from where he was eavesdropping.

"What do you mean?" I sniffed again.

"Where did you actually have a moment of 'I see you; the real you.' Not where you met." _If I wasn't so desperately in love with Cameron, I would have kissed Logan._ I sprinted out of the door without saying thanks. I will owe Logan so much more if this actually works._****_

_**I will stay.  
>Nobody will break you,<br>Yeah.**_

*New TXT Message – James Diamond – 6:30 AM*

*Cam, stay where you are. I'm coming. I... I do love you... Please, I trust you. I'm on my way* I sent the message and ran as fast as I could to the park where Cameron took me, six months into our relationship.

_You pried into my heart and soul... I broke down in front of you. You took all the fragments of myself; the ones I left with my drunk dad in Minnesota and my dreams here in LA... you fixed me. And you saw the real me._

I ran. I ran to the park entrance. I ran through the gravel paths. I ran until I was 30 feet from that bench. Cameron sat there, looking at the ground, tears glistening in the rays of the rising sun. He still hasn't seen me... _what have I put him through? After all this... he still wants me?__****_

_**Trust in me, trust in me.  
>Don't pull away<br>Trust in me, trust in me.  
>I'm just trying to keep this together, because I could do worse and you could do better<strong>_

_**Tears are spent on your last pretense  
>And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense.<strong>_

I took a deep breath and, again, I ran. My feet wouldn't move as fast as I wanted to get to Cameron. My heat ached as I saw his head lift up and his gaze meet mine. I smile formed on my lips when I made it to him, immediately doubling in size as he stood up to my height and clasping his arms tightly around my waist.

I couldn't tell if we were laughing or crying but I didn't care. _****_

_**If your heart wears thin I will hold you up  
>And I will hide you when it gets too much<br>I'll be right beside you  
>Nobody will break you<strong>_

The love he felt for me radiated off of him and warmed me right up. I just hoped he felt the same thing as I. I lifted my head that was buried in his neck to speak.

"Yes, Cameron. I really do want to marry you."

"Thank God." He exclaimed. He was beaming with happiness, so I was too. "I love you Jamie"

"I love you too, Cam."_****_

_**If your heart wears thin I will hold you up  
>And I will hide you when it gets too much<br>I'll be right beside you  
>Nobody will break you.<strong>_

**For some reason, this made a lot more sense in my head. Oh well, I still needed to write something with this song and I don't even care if it sucks. Please, go check out this song and this band and the very attractive Cameron Monaghan. (I really didn't expect to ever write a BTR slash with him, but he's been stuck in my head just like Marianas Trench XP)**

**So please, Review :D**


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